Survive and Thrive in College Life
by VampedVixen
Summary: Angel is living a life that isn't his and forgetting what once was. AU.


Survive and Thrive in College Life

By Vixen

There was a life outside of the one he lived now, that much was certain. He remembered vampires, demons, and some girl called a Slayer. That was so many years ago, maybe. It felt like years at least.

Angel was human now and that was all that mattered.

The mission was forgotten. The people in his city that looked to him for help did not worry him anymore. Their lost faces did not haunt his waking hours. Let someone else handle it was the motto he had sold himself. At first it was hard to accept that and learn to deal with leaving his reality behind.

As the days went on, he welcomed the rest from the never ending self-torment and the end of his impossible quest for redemption. He could walk in the sun here, taste ice cream and chocolate again, have sex with anyone he wanted without Angelus-type repercussions. There was dealing with the college courses his other self had already enrolled in, but he'd learned how to pass those with a prayer and a smile.

Sometimes he thought he'd grown to like it too much, that he'd lost himself in the normality of this life. Then he remembered that there's no way back. If there were, he would have been brought back already. A dream could not last as long as it already had unless there was no chance of waking up.

The party at the frat house was going strong by the time Angel arrived back after his last class of the night. Spike and Xander were pouring beer into a funnel, while Oz sucked it down. It was a full moon that night, big and bright. It didn't seem possible for this once-werewolf to stand there hairless, normal and human, and it only confirmed Angel's faith in this universe.

It was possibly why Angel tried to hang out with him at least once during every full moon. Oz didn't know the reason for the monthly occasions, probably didn't even know it's a full moon. He didn't have to keep track of them anymore. No one remembered how it used to be. Angel has never spoken a word to shatter their mutual dream. Better to leave it alone and never mention what once was.

Buffy walked by, wearing a pair of fuzzy kitty ears attached to a headband. She gave the lollypop she was holding a good lick as Angel walked by, teasing him with a demonstration of how well she could use her tongue. In a voice that's as close to purring as a human could get, she asked, "What's new, pussycat?"

The dress she wore was short and nearly see-through. When Angel first arrived in his new life, he took pains to seek out Buffy. He had wanted to see if she was different too, if they had a chance to be together here. What he had found was someone who had never grown past their Hemrey High persona. Vain, vapid, and vicious if you got on her bad side.

He gave her the once over and left without saying a word, a disgruntled sigh the only sound. There were better people to waste time on, people with actual personalities. Her new life upset him more than he let on. Buffy was not out risking her life nightly, not out being a Slayer and doing the thing she was born for. However, she wasn't really living, just faking her way through. Then he remembered that this way she'd never die. Everyone had their own compromises to make.

Angel made the rounds the rest of the night, talking with his fellow frat brothers. At first he had thought they were the most egotistical morons he'd ever met, now though they felt like family. They had layers underneath, somewhere buried behind bathroom humor and co-ed pranks, or at least he thought so.

After he'd drunk his fill of beer and partied till he could barely stand up anymore, he clapped a friend on the back, "Night, Riley."

"Gonna go bang your girl," Riley smirked, as if it was the only thing on his mind. Angel wondered why, even in this world, he had this guy as a friend. Then he remembered. Layers. Underneath. Hopefully.

Willow was on his mind while Angel walked up the stairs of the frat house. They'd dated ever since he found out Buffy wasn't his Buffy anymore. She helped him get caught up in his classes, though she had wondered why someone who was at the head of their college class wouldn't know his electrons from his neutrons. He'd ignored the question when she asked, made up some lie about how he really didn't need the extra help and only wanted to spend more time with her. As time went on and he grew more fond of her, that lie started to morph into truth. Willow had not changed as much of the rest of them and at times when Angel felt like being nostalgic, she reminded him of home.

As he walked into the bedroom they shared, Angel found Faith lying across his bed and reading his personal journal. He paused, "Where's Willow?"

"Dunno." Faith changed position, swinging her legs off the bed and then crossed one ankle over the other. One of her fingers held the page that she was reading like a bookmark. Angel didn't know if he should make a dive for the book or just hope that she didn't read anything more. Even whatever she already knew was too much. He realized that his mind was wandering, she was still talking about Willow. His girlfriend was the last thing on his mind at the moment though, "..but she said she'd be back soon."

"That's good. Uh, good that she'll be back," He attention was too distracted by the book to answer her with anything more relevant. Angel pointed to it casually, "You know that's mine. You shouldn't be reading it."

"Shoulda known that before I did, I guess," She shrugged without a care. Then she continued, "There's some really sick shit in here, Ang. Demons, apocalypses, different lives.." She got up off the bed, crossed over to him and pointed a manicured finger at his chest, "They'll lock you up for this. I hear the crazy farm's not a particularly good direction for a person's life to be headed."

"What do you want?"

Faith didn't even flinch at his growled question and cold glare. Maybe she was more like the girl he knew from Sunnydale than he had thought. She raised her hands to the ceiling, and let him admire her body. "All I want is what the two of us both know will happen one of these times. You. Me. Spending the night in bed, and doing whatever comes to mind."

He grabbed her roughly, throwing her to the bed, "Fine."

Faith just laughed at his treatment of her; she liked this side of him. That night, as their bodies roamed over each other, discovering each other's hidden kinks, he didn't think of Willow. At least he tried not to, pushing her memory aside for the time being. Instead, he let the sensation of her skin against his warm him. He kissed her thighs, tasting sweet sweat, and moved upward into forbidden territory. It was more than lust, but not quite love. There was something driving him on. It wasn't all so she would keep her mouth shut.

Later, they lay entwined on the mattress, each catching their breath after the brief escapade. She rolled onto his chest, planted a kiss and then asked, "Wanna know the truth? We all know." He looked at her cluelessly, so she continued, "About our other lives. We know, but we don't keep track of the changes anymore like you do. No journals filled with memories for us. Cause, you know, they're just not worth remembering."

"You know?" Angel pushed himself up to a sitting position, reclining against the headboard. His brow furrowed, "No one's ever said anything..."

"Angel, do you want to go back to that kind of place? Go back to fighting for our lives, dying for some unending war against good and evil, where there's really nothing but gray?" She cocked her head towards the book on the nearby nightstand, "I recommend you get rid of that thing. It's no use remembering what doesn't exist anymore. It'll only hurt you in the end."

He took a deep breath, listened to the beating of his heart, and made a decision. "You're right. I'll get rid of it in the morning."

The days of being a hero were over.

.END.

Written for The Bunny Factory (bunnyfactory on LJ)

Request:

Character/Pairings you want the story to focus on: Angel 

Character/Pairings you want in the story: Faith, Buffy, Willow, Spike, Oz 

Things you want: a journal, a forbidden night of romance for any 2 characters (prefer male/female), a kitten 

Things you don't want: character death - unless you have a very good reason for it! 

Extras: AU story - all human preferably, but anything outside of canon works for me!! Any rating, I have no preference.


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